« Previous Entry |
Back to Blissful Knowledge
| Next Entry »
April 05, 2005
TODAY'S HOW-TO LIST
I needed this laugh today. Via Galley Slaves, here's a list of things to do once you become an Evil Overlord, based on the experiences of the evil overlords we know and love from the movies and other sources.
A few samples:
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
There's much, much more.
Posted by Dr. Manhattan at 2:03 PM | Permalink
