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January 15, 2004
THE KING OF HOCKEY-BASHING

Salon's King Kaufman seems like a nice guy, so I don't think he'll object to my reproducing his short item that perfectly encapsulates the appropriate attitude towards the NHL (viewing of a commercial required):

Excellent Sporting News hockey columnist Kara Yorio begins a midseason report, "Attention football fans and baseball hot stove enthusiasts: You've missed half an NHL season."

Thanks for the update, Kara. And we're about to miss another half. Wake us when the playoffs start and the games mean something.

Posted by Dr. Manhattan at 10:00 AM |



Comments

Another anti-hockey rant. You just don't appreciate true skill an athlete that has to play a sport a top speeds and has to have a body to be able to hold up for a full season. That my friend is true sports.

I challenge you to attend a game with yours truly in the upcoming weeks and I don't want to hear about working late-Prove that you are man enough to attend a game, then judge the sport. Watching on TV only gives you part of the action(especially on the US networks)

Look up Don Cherry or check out his videos, I can lend them to you if need be.

Dr. Manhattan, when is the last time you went to a hockey game?

Heh, Heh,

PS I will be going to another lackluster performance by the Rangers Tonite vs. the Flyers.

I completely understand Dr. Manhattan's view of hockey and where he's coming from. His inability to understand any great athleticism is limited because he obviously suffers from ADHD. Baseball and football are the limit of his attention span. As a lifetime hockey fan and one of America's closest neighbours, I fail to understand how a baseball player is considered an athlete at all. I think most baseball players will agree with that one. Dude, strap on some skates, go on the ice, and try to see if you can even shoot a puck. I mean, anybody can play baseball. and I think anyone can play football. But can you handle yourself on two blades at high speeds? Hockey isn't for the timid like Dr. Manhattan. Maybe the sport is better off without him.

To be fair, I have to point out that Dr. Manhattan has attended numerous hockey games, so it would be unfair to say that he has no knowledge of the sport. However, I do believe that he is too busy worshiping at the altar of Billy Beane to broaden his focus and appreciate the finer things about hockey. I wonder if Lou Lamoriello (someone who has constructed a playoff team on a budget and actually won a few rounds) wrote a book, would Dr. Manhattan sing it's praises the way he does for Moneyball?

Where art thou Dr. Manhattan?

BTW It was not only a lackluster performance last Thursday night, but as well this past Wednesday evening vs. the Caps. Can someone please save this team?

Just like the central and south americans get really prissy and whiney about us beating them at soccer(futball), we should just let them have it and stop playing it. Same goes for Hockey. Let the Canadians, Fins, Swedes, and the commies have their little sport. We have the sports that matter to Americans most, American Football, Baseball, and Basketball.
We even have Volleyball and bowling.
The Australians have Rugby, let them have it. The Brits and their former colonies play a lot of cricket. Let them have it.
I stopped enjoying Hockey the moment they let teams from warm weather states into the league, and named a team 'Ducks.'

MYOB'
.

Hockey has a long tradition in the northern parts of the U.S. Minnesota is as much a hockey region as anywhere in Canada. In the state of Michigan, the Detroit Red Wings are far and away the most popular pro sports franchise. New York City even has a great hockey tradition. The Islanders of the early '80s, the '94 Rangers, and the modern-day New Jersey Devils. Dallas, TX, of all places, is now somewhat of a hockey town after the Stars won the Stanley Cup a few years back. The Kings have a strong and dedicated following in Los Angeles. Hockey is by no means dead in much of America, but it is ailing.

The NHL is plagued with major problems. There are simply too many teams in too many markets that will simply not embrace the sport for one reason or another. Why does Nashville and Miami need NHL clubs anyway? NHL players make more money on average than their counterparts in any other sport, including the NFL. Meanwhile, these guys are not marketable in the least, and their huge salaries are eating into the revenues of most teams. There will be a lockout this fall, and the entire 2004-05 season could very well be lost.

Let the high-priced foreign players go back to their own countries and play there, which many of them are planning to do. Americans will not miss them if they can't pronounce the majority of their names. Let a good deal of the clubs fold. Keep the sport in the cities where it can survive and thrive (Detroit, Toronto, Philadelphia, Dallas, Denver, Boston, New York, Los Angeles, a few others).

The NHL needs more American players that the average joe will be able to relate to. They need to emphasize the things Americans like about hockey, but the league has done the opposite. Gary Bettman and the clueless morons who run the NHL think people want to see skill, but the reality is people watch to see the fights. Emphasize a more physical, frankly violent, product and hockey will not seem quite as foreign to the average American. Perhaps the major reason the NHL isn't more popular is that it's become extremely boring.

And the biggest change that needs to be made? NO MORE TIES! If a game goes into overtime, play until someone scores. That one simple step would do wonders. If they did this, and shortened the season by 15 games or so, regular season games might actually start to mean something. Sadly, I don't see any of this happening, and we'll probably just see more of the status quo for many years to come. After the Rangers won the Stanley Cup in '94, hockey seemed to be on the verge of a major breakthrough in the parts of America where it does not have a tradition. That's all lost now. The lockout the following season didn't help matters, but the game has become incredibly boring since that time and big changes need to be made.


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